ZOLTAN KASZAS STAND UP COMEDY

 I enjoy the YouTube videos by DryBar Comedy....  search for DryBar and Zoltan Kaszas.

ZOLTAN COMEDY  Funny!

Zoltan Kaszas is a Hungarian-American comedian and actor. He was born in Budapest in 1987 and moved to the United States in 1991. 

OUR DRY SENSE OF HUMOR PROVES WE ARE TOO PESSIMISTIC TO SEE THE HUMOR IN THINGS : HUNGARIAN/ HUNGARIAN- AMERICAN STEREOTYPE

                                                    

HUNGARIANS are PESSIMISTIC and ALWAYS COMPLAINING.....?  Apparently we are only light-hearted when we dance.   Otherwise, we can bring anyone down.  That is, unless we unveil our DRY sense of humor.

OK, I've been accused of having a dry sense of humor, so dry it's imperceivable. On the other hand I've been known to laugh at my own jokes before I get to the punchline but I tell a jokes only once every few years and then it's usually the same old ones.  So I must not be insufferable...

What's wrong with looking at the dark side?  Well, to answer this we must be aware that we're in a hyper-positive culture in which every superlative is used to exaggerate importance, effort, as well as size.  Must we use so many adjectives?  Stunk and White would not be proud of our overuse of the English language in this way.  We should let words stand alone, allowing them the originally intended impact as is.

What about in Hungarian?

Do  you 'feel' this?

Let me know!

C 2023  Magyar American BlogSpot

THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO BEING HUNGARIAN : AN INTELLIGENT BOOK THAT IS ALSO FUN

 Sixteen notable writers.

These writers tackle subjects beyond stereotypes (like the cover of the book - peppers and mustaches) about what Hungary and Hungarians are about, looking at the past as well as the present situation as a result of the past. Pride in a unique heritage is one thing, people not picking up dog poo in Budapest is another.  From places to go and things to do, to relatives who got stranded in what is now another country before the country was significantly chopped. From heritage horses, pigs, and sheep, to the fact that the Hortobagy Plain was once forested and the vacant salty expanse of it now is due to overgrazing of animals.

Folk customs... likely begun in the 17th century or so not brought from Eurasia. Regional dress that used to identify village, class, and so on, now mainly worn by textile sellers and people on their way to dance class but yet there are places in Hungary where there exists people who can 'read' or identify the dress. The

difference between folk tale and folk legend and more than one origin story.  These short essays seem more reckoning than opinion,  I thoroughly enjoyed this intelligent book, which also, I am so happy to say, is not mired or overly sober.

C 2022 Magyar American - BlogSpot 

All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

THREE FOXES and LOG SLED

HUNGARIAN WOMAN ARE BLUNT IN THEIR ASSESSMENT OF RELATIONSHIP : HUNGARIAN STEREOTYPES

 

Here goes another stereotype of Hungarian WOMEN...  If you're a Hungarian woman (and this may carry over to you Hungarian-Americans) you waste no words in telling your partner what you do or do not like about the relationship.

Despite this bluntness, you still expect a man to simply know or remember what it is you like or want!  When he does you are satisfied with him. Therefore, if he is not used to this bluntness, even if you are sure to list the good things first  - and more of them - he will fear what it is you have to tell him.  It's implied that once he knows what you don't like he will improve.

What you think of sex with him, for instance.

Hey, at least you spoke up.

This is very modern.

It has nothing to do with how your great-grandmom, grandmom, or mom dealt with men.

Does she also enjoy you being so blunt with her?

Are you kidding?

C 2019 Magyar-American BlogSpot

WHAT'S IN THAT PIPE THEY'RE SMOKING?

Searching for a vintage public domain image for Easter, I came across this

ridiculously funny image of three rabbits smoking violets.  Does anyone know if

smoking violets makes one high?

CARTOON MAPS OF EUROPE - WORLD WAR I ERA

PUBLIC DOMAIN REVIEW - CARTOON MAP EUROPE 1914


Warning!  These are from a German perspective and are focused on military.

more at the link!

HUNGARIAN/ HUNGARIAN-AMERICAN MEN STEREOTYPES! (FOR THOSE WHO ARE CONSIDERING LOVE AND ROMANCE WITH SUCH A PERSON!)

 

Just in time for VALENTINE'S DAY, I present to you the stereotypes of HUNGARIAN and HUNGARIAN-AMERICAN MEN. This is just in case you are considering love and romance with such a person!  (Those of you already in the love and romance already know!)

 1) THEY ALL WEAR MUSTACHES, and even spend a lot of time grooming their mustaches.  You should be prepared to be tickled or abraded with the mustache when you kiss him. So you can never lie to anyone and claim you were not making out. Prepare to be abraded - unless he is one to groom the ends into points using wax, in which case, you may find that one of the ends of the mustache goes up into your nose when you make out!

2) THEY ALL READ OR WRITE POETRY as a way of seducing you. Beware the Hungarian or Hungarian-American who shows up at street poetry slams or tries to RAP in the Hungarian language!

You may need a translator, but ask yourself this.  What is the SUBJECT of the POEM?  IS IT ME?

3) ONCE A YEAR IN SPRING THEY FEEL COMPELLED TO SPRINKLE YOU WITH CHEAP PERFUME.  Don't get this cheap perfume confused with the real, expensive perfume you actually want as a gift for Valentines Day or your Birthday, that subtle scent that you use only one drop of, in the crook of your elbow!

4) THE MEN ARE ONLY A COUPLE GENERATIONS FROM WEARING DRESSES.  Do not automatically think of him as a cross-dresser if he shows up in one.

5)  HE'S NOT BI-POLAR it's JUST THAT HIS MOOD GOES UP AND DOWN.  Particularly if you refuse to say you love him frequently. He will be disappointed if the card you give him for Valentine's Day isn't mushy. (This attitude apparently began after the nobility stopped arranging marriages and began to marry for love!)

6) IF HE IS THE ONE PURSUING YOU, HE REALLY MIGHT CONSIDER SUICIDE if your romance DOESN'T TURN INTO TRUE LOVE AND MARRIAGE!  (Buy him one of those sun lamps sold to combat seasonal depression. Remember the lost homeland of the Hungarians must have been a sunny place and now they are forced to live in the cold, damp, foggy, and dark.)  (You Vixens out there should know that a Hungarian man will rarely turn down a woman who is after him, but he may not ask her out!)

7) YOU GET TO DOMINATE HIM IN THE HOME, just make a show of rushing around to serve him beer when his friends show up to watch soccer or football!  Also, if he decides to sit under a tree with some Slovak men to watch the clouds in the sky and let the women do all the work, remember matriarchy!

8) LET HIS MOTHER SHOW YOU HOW TO COOK HIS FAVORITE RECIPE, but don't actually ever try to make that meal for him when the two of you are home alone, until she is dead.  (Never ever make a show of showing up his mother as a cook!  You will never ever get that stuffed cabbage in the slow cooker recipe right!)

9) HE MAY HAVE ADVENTURES BUT HE ALWAYS MARRIES THE HOME TOWN GIRL!
(Even if she becomes the town spinster while waiting.)  Seriously good news, it just takes going to the same school to be a home town girl!

10)  NOBODY ACTUALLY HAS SEX TO HAVE BABIES.  Where do you think STORKS come from?  Poland? WHY DO YOU THINK THERE ARE STORKS NESTING ON HUNGARIAN CHIMNEYS?   All that public passion is just for show, to fool people.

ARE YOU LAUGHING YET?


C 2017  All Rights Reserved  Including Internet and International Rights.  Magyar-American Blogspot

I DOG SIT FOR MY NEIGHBOR and MY DOG IS ... A LITTLE BITCH!

The other day my neighbor asked me at the last minute if I would please watch her dog. 


We are aware that her dog and mine have a complicated relationship.  You see, when mine was five, theirs was a puppy who upon the sight of my dog did the wail for mommy.  He matured and tried to mount my dog who was not interested.  Pretty much, "been there done that," was her attitude.  I think he took it badly.  Ever since then the two of them have doggie hated each other so when they go past each other they rapidly bark as if they are sassing each other.  But recently when my dog got out this neighbor rescued her and held her for me till I got home.  I'm eternally grateful as it could have been a disaster otherwise.  I would never have said no to her request. 


She needed someone to watch her dog while she went off to college where she is studying for a Master's Degree in Child Development. Her landlord was finally sending in workmen in to repair the flooring of her kitchen which had been water damaged.  There was going to be a lot of noise, hammers and buzzsaws.  No place for a dog to be home alone with strange men.


She brought little Keaton over.  She brought his big cage, his dog bed, his bone, his ball, and his blanket, all of which I suggested just in case.  When my dog saw Keaton coming through the door she stared.  Oh No!  Not him again.


In an attempt to train Keaton and my dog in proper behavior when company, I tried to reinforce that my dog was not the leader of the pack, I was, but that she was second in command.  Keaton, being younger, male, and more energetic and strong than my dog, was skeptical.  He could see his house from our front door, so he knew he wasn't really away, and his person just went down the drive way.  She'd be back, wouldn't she?


And so, in short order, Keaton decided that he would be at the front door, watching and waiting.  So my dog got up on the sofa, leaning over it, and growling to let him know he was on her turf and watching him.


Then my dog started doing bitchy things to Keaton.  She sniffed around his things and she stole his bone, not once, but three times.  Each time I took the bone away from her, put it back near Keaton, and put her in the bedroom and closed the door for time out. 


She got into her second most favorite spot, the chair she likes to sleep on and has pillows and blankets on, again to intimidate Keaton, who was looking around my kitchen floor and sniffing, hoping he was going to get some real food that dropped.


I went to the treats can and pulled out a few different ones, from little sausages, to cheese and chicken flavored mini-bones, and some kibble that comes in little bags and is made of trout.  I put a couple of these down near Keaton's things but my dog was like an eagle coming out of the sun to blind its prey.  Keaton couldn't get one treat because, with incredibly bad manners, mine ate them all, right under his nose.


It all worked out in the end.  I never put Keaton in his cage and I never tied up the dogs inside the house to keep them apart. The noise and vibration across the way was intense and Keaton knew something was going on in his house and for a while he shook.  He let me hold him and sooth him.


However, what I had to remember was how insecure my dog is because she has been dumped and rescued three times in her life.  When she came to me she showed signs of having had to compete for food.  Even though there were no other dogs around, she would take some kibble and hide it, or eat away from her dish, as if she were ready to be attacked.  I believe she was born in a backyard and then was part of a breeding program.  Mine may be the first house she has lived in and it may be the first time she has no other dogs to compete with.  She came to me terrified to have her paws touched, fearful and uncooperative about baths, and generally seemed to have been, if not abused, roughly handled in the past and untrained.  We've gotten so over those fears of hers that she comes to me eagerly when I say "bath."  Like a person who did not have a good childhood, there are elements of her personality that are not companionable.  I love her as she is.


I walked the two dogs together and while my dog tried to keep pace with me, and it was Keaton who started huffing and puffing first, I realized that Keaton was simply not going to perform any command I asked of him.  He was not going to Come, Sit, or Stay, or Heel.  He looked at me as if to say, "I no understand Hungarian!"


Moving into the holidays, I've already bought my dog a new collar and leash, a new toy, and a new sweater.  I sent Keaton home with a new Christmas bow for his collar.


Here's to the days ahead!




C 2016 All Rights Reserved - Including Internet and International Rights

WE'RE EITHER FREEZING COLD OR HOT HOT HOT! HUNGARIAN HUNGARIAN- AMERICAN WOMEN STEREOTYPE

 

Another unfortunate stereotype of Hungarians, women that is, is that we either run freezing cold (this can include wives who were thinking of becoming nuns before they were abducted into marriage) or that we are hot hot hot!  As for the modest wives, you have a choice.  You can either believe that they do not know how it is they have seven children, or you can believe that they are only modest in the kitchen, which by the way is the cleanest kitchen you will ever eat off the floor in.

If a Hungarian- American woman is considered "good in bed" her lover will say something like "It's that hot Hungarian blood!"  This can be even if you are four generations from Hungary or are now in the "Heinz 57" category of ethnic mix!  Yes, blame it all on Hungary!   Foxy Hungarian women are all over the internet looking to be brides to lonely American men.  They are in the hot hot hot category.

Considering that not so long ago in Hungary most young couples had to wait till marriage to have sex (18 years old for the young women and 20 or 21 for the young men), that it is a very Catholic - Christian country, and so many of our ancestors lived in with relatives until they could get a house (or hut) of their own and no one was supposed to hear anyone having sex, there has been a remarkable cultural change apparently. 

Now, American tourists are braced to see hot hot hot couples everywhere, especially in mineral springs.

I actually think this stereotype may be true! 

C 2014  Magyar-American BlogSpot

WE'RE ALL EXTRA HAIRY : HUNGARIAN/ HUNGARIAN AMERICAN STEREOTYPE

 

You just stopped plucking that hair out of your ears didn't you?

OK, I'll admit that some people, men people, have hair growing out of their ears. I'll admit that some people need to have a little weed-wacker to get at the hairs in their nostrils. I'll admit that some people really are extra hairy. You might not want to be the next person in the shower after them because there is hair all over the shower stall - even the walls!

But I have no idea why I hear that HUNGARIANS are extra hairy!  It's like we're akin to the BIG APES.  Like we have way more NEANDERTHAL DNA than other ethnic groups!

Hey, maybe we do!

Hungarian and Hungarian-Women apparently never shave, not our armpits. Only the Polish women have more hair under there which is why there are jokes about braided armpits!  (I've tried letting mine grow and I think actually it soaps up better with than without!)

Hungarian men have FACIAL HAIR, especially mustaches. Hungarian men were growing their hair long before there were The Beatles.

Apparently there are no bald men in Hungary and if they are they are Germans!

Hungarian women also have lux hair, unless they have Baby Fine in which case they are Slovaks!

I hope you are laughing with me.

I left the house this morning bare legged and without shaving!

C 2012  Magyar American BlogSpot

All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

To see what other stereotypes I tackle here, search for the word stereotypes!

SQUIRRELS - PIGEONS - HORSES - ALL LIVING BEINGS POOP! MY DOG HAS A SQUIRREL OBSESSION!

Maybe most dogs do. 

I just know that my dog is so obsessed with squirrels that she doesn't care if she hurts herself to chase them.  She could care less if she pulls her leash tight against her neck or that she breaks a nail leaping into a tree. I worry that she will get away from me and get hit by a car; I want her to have a long life and more natural death.  She has only gotten away from me twice, even breaking her leash, and both times it was because a squirrel was antagonizing her, or playing. 

Then she was suddenly a field away, galloping with glee, and it made me feel bad, that she has to live a life in which she is almost always in step with me, a tug at her neck, like a slave.

My dog is actually a sweetheart and only shows her hunting and killer instinct when it comes to squirrels, or playing with some of her toys which she treats as road kill.  Most of the time she is beloved by all, old people and children especially, because she is so gentle.  Never one to bite, even when a bratty child is trying to grab her by the nuzzle or pull her ears, (Really, the parents of these children are not doing their job to allow their children such behavior!).  She has been attacked by other dogs four times and each time she goes home and throws up.

Apparently not everyone in this world likes dogs or thinks they are clean.

Squirrels: I read that some people are upset with all the squirrel poop, comparing it to all that horse poop that is also in our urban environment.  Really, I wondered where this was going.  Maybe in the same direction as the attitude towards pigeons which is that there are way too many, that they are filthy, that they spread disease, that their poop is disgusting, so go ahead and poison them.

I dare say that I may have met someone who has eaten squirrel but never anyone who has eaten a pigeon.

In my neighborhood there are some Muslims and they think dogs are so unclean that they are not supposed to even touch them.  Muslims who need the assistance of an animal are allowed to take small horses (three feet tall) as their service animals into the local libraries!  A librarian tells me the rule is "as long as the horse is trained not to make a poop inside the library!"

I say, this may be bad, but it's not as bad as what Koreans do (or used to) and that is eat dogs.

If you are wondering what the difference between a Korean and a Hungarian is...

WE CAN TAKE A JOKE : MONTY PYTHON HUNGARIAN PHRASE BOOK SKETCH

Now I want to know if you think this is funny!