HUNGARIAN / HUNGARIAN-AMERICAN STEREOTYPE : ONLY BOYS COUNT? ARE HUNGARIANS SEXIST?

 

A Russian woman told me that Hungarians only count boys, so if you ask a Hungarian mother how many children she has, and she has five children, but three are boys, she will say 3.

In 2015?

I personally cannot believe that it's this bad, that Hungarian's do not value females as much as males, but since MAGYAR-AMERICAN is now available in Hungary on a Hungarian server, I would love for some of you who are presently living in Hungary to make some comment!

I have heard and overheard women in my own family, of the previous generation to mine, say things like "now our name is carried forth,"  when a son's wife gives birth to a son, showing some concern that the surname continue on to the next generation, which it might not be if their son's only have daughters. 

But to not value their daughters?  To not speak of them, to have no pride in them, to act as if they had never been born?

No way!

While the women of my family in the previous generations were raised to be wives and mothers, and thought that this was the most important thing they could do with their lives, they were also not educated to have meaningful work or careers, and then if they went to work for pay, it was after the children were launched into adulthood.   Still, their work was valuable to the family. In their households, boys and girls performed tasks that were assigned by gender.  This, however, doesn't seem to be exclusively Hungarian. 

It also seemed to be about living in the city, rather than the country.  Country living, agricultural living, is hard work for both sexes. Many tasks that were "Women's Work"  in the Old Country or In the Country, would be considered by some to be not especially feminine.

For instance, breaking the neck of a chicken (killing it), plucking the feathers, butchering it, and turning it into food, isn't work that most people do now.  The last person I ever met who did it was an immigrant born in the 19th century.

It might be that the husband and boys were supposed to do the yard work and the wife and girls do the housework and cooking, but what I witnessed was that husbands were also stuffing home-made sausages, "manning" the outdoor grill, and wives were heading out , driving cars, to buy groceries. 

C 2015 Magyar-American BlogSpot

THE BEES

 

WE NEVER EVER GIVE UP! HUNGARIAN/ HUNGARIAN- AMERICAN STEREOTYPE

 

My own aunt once said to me, "Never Give Up!  We Hungarians NEVER GIVE UP!"

She was proud that of all the countries the Communists invaded and took over it was the Hungarians who had resisted really becoming Communist the best.  She said it was because they had resisted more than anyone and that the resistance was still going on.  She felt that the Communists would be out of Hungary first of all the countries they had taken over...

Over the last several days I've had tremendous problems with being run around, disrespected and picked upon, by strangers.  I've been feeling like I have a "Beat Me!" sign over my head.  I hate that feeling!

To give you some idea...

I was shopping for new summer tops, shoes, and a new slow cooker with a timer.  (You just know I plan to make stuffed cabbage!)  After I'd exhausted the possibilities closer to home, I set out to a certain department type store that will remain unnamed where they were having a sale.  It takes me over an hour to get there and half the way there I realized I had forgotten my wallet.  I decided to continue on and shop anyway, after all, I might not find anything to buy and not having a wallet would then not be an issue.  I shopped for over five hours,  trying on dozens of tops for fit and color, found the perfect slow cooker with a timer, and a pair of sandals I really liked.  So I went to the cash register and asked "How long can you hold things for me?" 

She said 24 hours.  It was 3 PM.  They pulled out a plastic bag, I neatly printed my whole name, the name was taped to the bag, and it was handed over to a security guard to take to the back room.  By the time I got home it was near 5 PM, and I was tired so I decided to go back the next morning to arrive when they opened.

I arrived and asked for my bag.  A cashier went back to find it.  She came back and told me there was no bag with my name on it.  So I asked for a manager.  Before a manager could show up another employee went to look for the bag and came back to say there was no bag.  Finally I told the manager that I had spent five hours in the store the day before, plus a few hours commute, and I couldn't believe that they had lost my bag.  The security guard had taken it back there.  She went to the back, FOUND my bag, and returned to hand it to me.

I continued to shop, because this time I brought along a couple outfits that I wanted to match.  The store had special deal.  For every 50 dollars you spent, they would give you $10 to spend there the following weekend.  I determined that I would go up over $100 to get $20 and use that to buy new towels.  So I got in line and told the cashier that was my intention.  I told her I would put things down on the counter in the order of their importance to me, starting with the slow cooker, then some tops, and she should subtotal.  She told me I had gone up to $103, so I decided not to take 3 of the shirts.  She gave me a receipt and I hauled out a big bag.

But it was hot and I felt like I needed a treat.  I decided to go get some coconut water and some nuts to snack on before I went home. 

After I finished my treat, I was looking in my wallet, looked at the receipt and realized that the cashier had NOT heard me.  I had earned only $10 rather than $20 because I had not gone up to $103 before tax.  So I went back in, called for another manager, and we fixed the issue.

I got home.  I got up early to walk my dog.  That was when I noticed that there was a car parked in my space - again.  The very same neighbor whom I have talked to nicely about this three times in the last year.  He's a college student.  He's a Christian.  What doesn't he get?  When I track him down to talk to him he does this cute little boy, awe shucks routine.  I could tell his mom on him but I've heard her use every curse word in the book.

Worse, when I went to throw out my garbage, I noticed this neighbor had filled my can with his refuse, which puts me to work, because I'm the one that has to haul it out to the street.  Suddenly I felt infuriated.  I slammed some doors, I put notices on his car and his door to remove his vehicle, and then, shame on me I guess, but I dumped his garbage that was in my can on his porch.

I FELT "TALKING ISN'T COMMUNICATION IN THIS CASE!"  Maybe behaving like an idiot will do it! 

The next weekend I returned to the department store with my $20 coupon and a 20% discount and got my towels with an additional $1. off for being a "early bird."  I took the bus there that stops near a wonderful international produce company.  I went in and bought a huge heavy cabbage, as well as Cibola onions, carrots, and other items to make my stuffed cabbage in my slow cooker.  On the way in a security guard questioned by big bag of towels, which I refused to leave in an open, unguarded nook, telling him it was fine with me if he wanted to follow me around the store since I don't steal.  On my way to select a check out I noticed the same security guard as well as a cart not quite in line but abandoned with a few items in it.  So I said to him, "Is that person coming back because I'd like to check out but I don't want anyone to get mad at me."  The guard said to go ahead into the line.

A moment later a woman pulled up, saw me, and got mad.  "I'm sorry," I said.  I don't know you.  I didn't know that was your cart.  And I asked the security guard and he told me to get in line."

"Oh All Right," she said.  But she didn't mean it.  She basically took a tantrum throwing her items down on the table behind me.

As I headed out the door with two small grocery bags and my big bag of towels, I thought to myself "I'm not ready to die.  But I hate this world.  I can't wait to get to heaven!"

Surprisingly, as I got to the bus stop across the way and sat down, a car pulled up.  It was someone I haven't seen in three years, someone who is a Christian by Conversion, and he was offering me a ride.  "I don't think so, not today, I said." I didn't want to take a ride from someone and then not have them in for a visit.  My place is absolutely not in order - all that time away from housework shopping!

So he went around the corner and parked, and came back to talk to me - about Jesus.

The bus arrived, I got on, and now my packages felt heavy.  A nice woman got up so I could sit down.  She got off.  Then another woman got off from the front seat that was nearest to the driver, a seat where I could watch for my stop from.  I decided to move there, holding the big bag on my lap, and the two small to my side.

Suddenly I heard a voice behind me, a woman.  "You should have stayed in the seat where you were.  Then I felt a vicious shove to my back!  So there I was being assaulted by a stranger, probably a person not well mentally.  The shove was hard enough to crack my back, like a chiropractor.

"Stop the bus and call the police!"  I called out.

The driver did not.

When I got home I called the police. They said to call the bus company.  The bus company said to call Monday.  On Monday I called. I got the run around from "Customer Relations" when the woman who anwered shifted me to one of those voice mails that is never answered.  I told her I wanted a response in writing and would give her my address. The voice mail was too short for much of a message.  So I called the police again and they said to call the sheriff whose territory the bus was running through and who takes care of crime on public transportation.  I called the sheriff and learned that one of them would have to travel pretty far to come out to "talk" to me.  I wanted to know if there was a camera on the bus that might have recorded the woman's speech and violence towards me.  Is she perhaps on parole or probation?  What if I encounter her again?  As you can guess this went nowhere, because she was a stranger to me.  But I think it shows that I was determined to stand up for myself.

A few days later I went out the door to my City Councilman's office with a long letter about issues in my neighborhood from increases in crime, graffiti, fire-hazard empty lots with tall dry weeds, out of wack traffic signals and auto accidents, furniture out on the parkway that no one calls for pick up on but me, and people burying their dead dogs beneath trees in the park. 

When I got there, to my surprise, his assistant assigned to my area was there in person.  I realized that I'm a bit of a CITIZEN ACTIVIST, that I do care about my community, and that maybe some of my efforts will change things for the better, if just a bit.

So if you ask me if this HUNGARIAN -AMERICAN NEVER GIVES UP, well I'd say yes. 

Now,  finally, about those stuffed cabbages...

C 2015 Magyar-American BlogSpot

MEMORIAL DAY - UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

DO YOU HAVE ONE VIOLIN BOW OF ROMANI (GYPSY) BLOOD?

How Romani are you?

I've met more than one Hungarian who claimed to be part Romani, but in talking to Romani while doing some Canadian Hungarian research, I was told that the two never mixed.  

As is the case now, DNA can tell the truth.

I wonder how many people have tried to explain their yellowish or dark without a tan skin, or even skin that tans easily, as mine does, as being part Romani?  (The Romani have been determined by DNA research to have been from India originally.)

There are other explanations, of course, such as Jewish, Tartar, Mongolian, Italian, etc., and frankly, while there has been intermarriage,  like official marriage, in churches, temples, mosques, and civil, there has also been rape.

HAPLOGROUPS - DO YOU AND PRINCE WILLIAM SHARE THE SAME R30B MT DNA or R1B Y?

EUPEDIA.COM HAPLOGROUPS OF EUROPEAN KINGS AND QUEENS  check this out!

Tripped across this site which has an impressive list... and I'm thinking HOW DO THEY KNOW?  The answer is that direct descendants have been tested when possible. Well, I haven't joined the group, but I thought you might find this interesting. There are no HUNGARIANS on this list and the POLISH Kings and Queens remain a mystery, but there are a lot of Germans, Austrians, and some Romanians.

EXCERPT:  Kings of Romania
Ferdinand I (1865-1927) => H (mtDNA)
Michael (1921-) => H (mtDNA)

DO HUNGARIANS IN HUNGARY TREAT TOURISTS WELL? WHAT IS YOUR EXPERIENCE?

Reading around the subject one middle of the night bought of insomnia, I found that on the Internet there is some dialogue about this subject.

There were those who said that wherever they went the Hungarian people (people in Hungary) that they had contact with were terrifically warm, friendly, helpful, and honest, and those who reported the following bad experiences:

People who expected tourists to speak Hungarian like the Natives and further openly dismissed them, put them down, or got angry with them for a bad try.  As this has often been an American accusation of the French, who are also language proud, but with Hungarian being notoriously more unique and difficult than any of the "romance languages," I have to say that I would be upset if I had this experience as a traveler, particularly an ethnic-heritage traveler.

Shop Keepers and others who charge money knowingly accepting too much (more than the posted or agreed to price) and taking advantage of the tourists newness to the currency and inability to figure change, and not giving back proper change.  The tourist realizes he's been taken advantage of or ripped off later and hates Hungary for it.  This is said to be a left over from a sort of Cold War/Communist Era attitude that all Americans or all Tourists must be rich (and not mind?) because how poor can they be if they can have vacations and travel.

As someone who watches her budget this would upset me if it happened to me.  That said, it happened to me in New York City, simply because I didn't know where a cab driver was taking me.

C Magyar American BlogSpot

ARISTOCRACTIC ASSOCIATION OF SLOVAKIA

ARISTOCRATIC ASSOCIATION OF SLOVAKIA (in English)  ARE YOU INTERESTED IN REGISTERING YOUR NOBILITY WITH THIS ANTI-COMMUNIST GROUP?   You don't have to be Slovak.  Just remember that American Citizens do not have titles, give up the right to titles upon citizenship, but you might ask if you can use them when traveling in Europe!

EXCERPTS

The registration in the Noble Register of the Aristocratic Association of Slovakia accepts the strict rules of noble traditions. It is possible to make registration only after presentation of complete prescribed documents (genealogical and historical), which confirm the appurtenance to the noble status. On the other hand, Ministry of Interior of the Slovak Republic officially approved the Statute of the Aristocratic Association of Slovakia, with the right to certify and confirm the justness of using the noble titles. The Certificate about the noble origin, issued by our Association, is accepted by democratic administrative system and its authorities.

Today we are the only noble organization in the east European countries, which has established and carries the Noble Register. This has brought us the attention of many aristocrats from different European countries, especially form the post-communistic countries. They ask for the confirmation of their nobility through the registration in our Noble register, or they ask for help or advice. So it is happened, that our Association incidentally has got into the function as a central co-ordination workplace for the question of renew of the noble status.

A last point we would like to mention is that the Aristocratic Association of Slovakia is relatively small organization. Today we have about 40 members, 17 of them are registered in our Noble register. The others provide the necessary genealogical documents step by step, and they are in the waiting period. The candidate cannot use his noble title before the registration in Noble register.

QUAINT FLORAL BASKET

The roses have started to bloom!

A WASPY NEW FRIEND WRANGLES WITH MY HUNGARIAN ETHNIC HERITAGE

My new friend, from what he would call an "all American" background recently revealed to me that he is wrangling with my Hungarian ethnic heritage, make that OTHERNESS, now that he's determined that I'm not as American as he!

I learned that he was doing a little internet research on the Hungarians in an effort to better understand me and have something to talk to me about, which is a good thing.  Except that now that he has found out I'm from a Hungarian ethnic heritage he does think of me as "different."

I may or may not be "different" for other reasons, but I wonder, will it be that I'm "different" or that he thinks of me "differently?"

RESEARCHING GERMANS IN HUNGARY - YUGOSLAVIA - ROMANIA - WHO IMMIGRATED TO THE UNITED STATES

I've been reading around the subject of German immigration into the parts of Europe that were once Hungary, including areas that became Romania and Yugoslavia, and then to the United States. The waves of immigration into Hungary may have been documented as early as the 1400's in some places, 1600's in others. These people are called HUNGARIAN GERMANS.

Germany let people go to other countries with the idea that they would always be Germans and could always come back. Often, for generations, these Germans in their colonies and towns and villages they established, remained German ethnically. They continued to have a German lifestyle in the way they lived, spoke, cooked, dressed, practiced religion, worked, and in the way they saw family life, inheritance, and the roles of women. Of course, after a few generations the Hungarian lifestyle had its influence.

They may have all come from a particular part of Germany - particularly Catholic regions - where they were intermarried with locals - and continued to intermarry in Hungary. Many of them learned the Hungarian language, came to consider themselves Hungarian, intermarried with Hungarians of the same religion.  When they came to the United States they lived close with other Hungarian immigrants, spoke German and Hungarian and learned English.

But it's not true that the Hungarians are "all Germans" as I've often been told.

Doing a little research on this subject, I found that there are a number of names for these HUNGARIAN GERMANS. For instance they are sometimes identified by the area or even the town they came from, such as the Palankaer Germans who came from Palanka. They may be called Dabube Swabians or Transylvania Saxons.

Or they are called "expelled Germans." This site is very interesting: EXPELLED GERMANS ORG . A long list of places that Germans have been expelled from through (especially recent) history.

Another interesting site is this one : BLACK SEA GERMANS which begins, "Approximately 800 villages were founded in Hungary by German settlers from 1711 to 1750. These German settlers came from the regions known as Baden, Württemberg, Alsace, Lorraine, the Rhineland, Westphalia, Bavaria, and Swabia, as well as from other areas. Even though they came from various regions and spoke various dialects, the Hungarians called them Swabians, and the name came to be used in reference to all Germans who settled in the Danube valley.

Although there had been German immigration to Hungary prior to 1711, the expulsion of the Turks resulted in an organized settlement program sponsored by the Habsburgs. The Habsburgs had three aims: 1) fortify the land against invasion, 2) develop farm land, and 3) further the Roman Catholic religion in Eastern Europe. They offered Catholics of the southwest German states inducements such as free agricultural land, home sites, construction materials, livestock, and exemption from taxes for several years...."*****

I continue to also read around the subject of DNA and am fascinated with what we are learning through this science about how human beings moved through the generations around the world.

C 2015 Magyar American 

C 2025 Magyar American   Links checked August 22, 2025

A BEAUTIFUL VIDEO about the R1B1 DNA OF PEOPLE WITH TURANIAN ROOTS

What this YouTube Video Poster has to say: Uigurs, Kazakhs, Bashkirs, some other peoples of Siberia, Central Asia and the Urals descend in part from the ancient R1b1 branch, and by now retain the same haplogroup for 16,000 years. Comparison of R1b haplotypes of the Uigurs on the one hand, and Chuvashes, Bulgars, and Hungarians...

 


*****

Researching a bit more, I learned that the term TURANIAN is controversial and considered obsolete by some.  But here is a web site with more information: HUNMAGYAR.ORG  which begins "Welcome to the realm of the Turanians. The Turanians are a family of ethno-linguistically related peoples which include the Hungarians, the Uralic group (Finnic and West Siberian peoples), and the Altaic group (Turkic, Mongolian, Tungus-Manchu, Korean and Japanese peoples). The Turanians are the indigenous inhabitants of vast territories in Eurasia, from Central Europe to the Pacific Ocean, and have a rich and ancient cultural heritage...."


This HUNMAGYAR site has some fascinating links.  By clicking on HUNGARY on their map I reached a page that includes this mythology link HUNMAGYAR - HUNGARIAN MYTHOLOGY which supports the idea that the ancient Hungarians were from Sumeria.


The R1B1 DNA is the DNA of an estimated 25% to 50% of the population based on current DNA Hungarian projects that I found on the Internet.  It is not the only DNA of Hungarians.

THIS AUTHOR BELIEVES HUNGARIANS (MAGYARS) ORIGINATED IN THE HINDU KUSH - UPDATED DNA

MAGYAR ORIGINS - COMMENTARY ON NEW EDITION OF THE BOOK  

Author Frank Sandor is the youngest of four children born in Canada to Hungarian immigrants.  

Sandor looks at SANSKRIT and URALIC languages... caste systems associated with types of employment and forbidden intermarriage with other castes which isolates DNA... the DNA of warrior casts... looks at the latest Hungarian DNA analysis from a famous DNA service... and has a long list of links to sources for information.

EXCERPT:

Another thing that has changed since the writing of my book is the discovery of the Z280 genetic marker in Hungarians belonging to the R1a1a group. At the time of its discovery, because of the study’s heavy contribution of Hungarians, it was believed this marker only existed in Hungary. Since that time this marker has been shown to be common throughout Central Asia including having recently been discovered in Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan. The proximity of Uzbekistan to Pakistan suggests it is only a matter of further study before the Z280 marker is also found there as no geographic barrier between the two countries until you get to the Hindu Kush Mountains near the Indian border. (The distance between Pakistan and Uzbekistan is about the same distance as a return trip from Washington, DC to New York.)

C 2015 Magyar-American

 

HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME LINKS TO CURTIS, BARRYMORE, HARGITAY ADDED TO MAGYAR AMERICAN SIDE-BAR

The Hollywood Walk of Fame is, if you haven't heard of it, a way of honoring famous actors and others in the city of Hollywood, with stars that are embedded in the side walk.  It is a tourist attraction but please understand that it is fan clubs that raise the money for the actual star in honor of their favorites.  I've been there and you can walk the streets for miles looking for stars.  When someone dies, if their fan club is still around, then there is usually a floral tribute placed upon it.  Some of the sidewalk and actual stars are in need of maintenance, others are bright and shiny.

Looking through MAGYAR- AMERICAN blog, I noticed a couple posts that needed to be taken down due to expired videos.  I decided to add the HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME links for

Tony and Jamie Lee Curtis, Drew Barrymore, and Mariska Hargitay to my side bar.  These links have very informative bios on them.

There are and were more Hungarian-American actors and very many Hungarian immigrants who were involved in the making of films from their early years in Hollywood, behind the camera as well as in front of it, and in all aspects of production.  In case you are wondering, many of these people were Hungarian Jews.

Besides the Gabor Sisters, there is Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson, her daughter, Jessica Szhor, Adrien Brody, and Tara Reid who have some Hungarian ancestry.  There are also many Hungarian-American stage actors. 

EASTER ANGEL