Wednesday, May 27, 2015

WE NEVER EVER GIVE UP! HUNGARIAN HUNGARIAN- AMERICAN STEREOTYPE


 

My own aunt once said to me, "Never Give Up!  We Hungarians NEVER GIVE UP!"

She was proud that of all the countries the Communists invaded and took over it was the Hungarians who had resisted really becoming Communist the best.  She said it was because they had resisted more than anyone and that the resistance was still going on.  She felt that the Communists would be out of Hungary first of all the countries they had taken over...

Over the last several days I've had tremendous problems with being run around, disrespected and picked upon, by strangers.  I've been feeling like I have a "Beat Me!" sign over my head.  I hate that feeling!

To give you some idea...

I was shopping for new summer tops, shoes, and a new slow cooker with a timer.  (You just know I plan to make stuffed cabbage!)  After I'd exhausted the possibilities closer to home, I set out to a certain department type store that will remain unnamed where they were having a sale.  It takes me over an hour to get there and half the way there I realized I had forgotten my wallet.  I decided to continue on and shop anyway, after all, I might not find anything to buy and not having a wallet would then not be an issue.  I shopped for over five hours,  trying on dozens of tops for fit and color, found the perfect slow cooker with a timer, and a pair of sandals I really liked.  So I went to the cash register and asked "How long can you hold things for me?" 

She said 24 hours.  It was 3 PM.  They pulled out a plastic bag, I neatly printed my whole name, the name was taped to the bag, and it was handed over to a security guard to take to the back room.  By the time I got home it was near 5 PM, and I was tired so I decided to go back the next morning to arrive when they opened.

I arrived and asked for my bag.  A cashier went back to find it.  She came back and told me there was no bag with my name on it.  So I asked for a manager.  Before a manager could show up another employee went to look for the bag and came back to say there was no bag.  Finally I told the manager that I had spent five hours in the store the day before, plus a few hours commute, and I couldn't believe that they had lost my bag.  The security guard had taken it back there.  She went to the back, FOUND my bag, and returned to hand it to me.

I continued to shop, because this time I brought along a couple outfits that I wanted to match.  The store had special deal.  For every 50 dollars you spent, they would give you $10 to spend there the following weekend.  I determined that I would go up over $100 to get $20 and use that to buy new towels.  So I got in line and told the cashier that was my intention.  I told her I would put things down on the counter in the order of their importance to me, starting with the slow cooker, then some tops, and she should subtotal.  She told me I had gone up to $103, so I decided not to take 3 of the shirts.  She gave me a receipt and I hauled out a big bag.

But it was hot and I felt like I needed a treat.  I decided to go get some coconut water and some nuts to snack on before I went home. 

After I finished my treat, I was looking in my wallet, looked at the receipt and realized that the cashier had NOT heard me.  I had earned only $10 rather than $20 because I had not gone up to $103 before tax.  So I went back in, called for another manager, and we fixed the issue.

I got home.  I got up early to walk my dog.  That was when I noticed that there was a car parked in my space - again.  The very same neighbor whom I have talked to nicely about this three times in the last year.  He's a college student.  He's a Christian.  What doesn't he get?  When I track him down to talk to him he does this cute little boy, awe shucks routine.  I could tell his mom on him but I've heard her use every curse word in the book.

Worse, when I went to throw out my garbage, I noticed this neighbor had filled my can with his refuse, which puts me to work, because I'm the one that has to haul it out to the street.  Suddenly I felt infuriated.  I slammed some doors, I put notices on his car and his door to remove his vehicle, and then, shame on me I guess, but I dumped his garbage that was in my can on his porch.

I FELT "TALKING ISN'T COMMUNICATION IN THIS CASE!"  Maybe behaving like an idiot will do it! 

The next weekend I returned to the department store with my $20 coupon and a 20% discount and got my towels with an additional $1. off for being a "early bird."  I took the bus there that stops near a wonderful international produce company.  I went in and bought a huge heavy cabbage, as well as Cibola onions, carrots, and other items to make my stuffed cabbage in my slow cooker.  On the way in a security guard questioned by big bag of towels, which I refused to leave in an open, unguarded nook, telling him it was fine with me if he wanted to follow me around the store since I don't steal.  On my way to select a check out I noticed the same security guard as well as a cart not quite in line but abandoned with a few items in it.  So I said to him, "Is that person coming back because I'd like to check out but I don't want anyone to get mad at me."  The guard said to go ahead into the line.

A moment later a woman pulled up, saw me, and got mad.  "I'm sorry," I said.  I don't know you.  I didn't know that was your cart.  And I asked the security guard and he told me to get in line."

"Oh All Right," she said.  But she didn't mean it.  She basically took a tantrum throwing her items down on the table behind me.

As I headed out the door with two small grocery bags and my big bag of towels, I thought to myself "I'm not ready to die.  But I hate this world.  I can't wait to get to heaven!"

Surprisingly, as I got to the bus stop across the way and sat down, a car pulled up.  It was someone I haven't seen in three years, someone who is a Christian by Conversion, and he was offering me a ride.  "I don't think so, not today, I said." I didn't want to take a ride from someone and then not have them in for a visit.  My place is absolutely not in order - all that time away from housework shopping!

So he went around the corner and parked, and came back to talk to me - about Jesus.

The bus arrived, I got on, and now my packages felt heavy.  A nice woman got up so I could sit down.  She got off.  Then another woman got off from the front seat that was nearest to the driver, a seat where I could watch for my stop from.  I decided to move there, holding the big bag on my lap, and the two small to my side.

Suddenly I heard a voice behind me, a woman.  "You should have stayed in the seat where you were.  Then I felt a vicious shove to my back!  So there I was being assaulted by a stranger, probably a person not well mentally.  The shove was hard enough to crack my back, like a chiropractor.

"Stop the bus and call the police!"  I called out.

The driver did not.

When I got home I called the police. They said to call the bus company.  The bus company said to call Monday.  On Monday I called. I got the run around from "Customer Relations" when the woman who anwered shifted me to one of those voice mails that is never answered.  I told her I wanted a response in writing and would give her my address. The voice mail was too short for much of a message.  So I called the police again and they said to call the sheriff whose territory the bus was running through and who takes care of crime on public transportation.  I called the sheriff and learned that one of them would have to travel pretty far to come out to "talk" to me.  I wanted to know if there was a camera on the bus that might have recorded the woman's speech and violence towards me.  Is she perhaps on parole or probation?  What if I encounter her again?  As you can guess this went nowhere, because she was a stranger to me.  But I think it shows that I was determined to stand up for myself.

A few days later I went out the door to my City Councilman's office with a long letter about issues in my neighborhood from increases in crime, graffiti, fire-hazard empty lots with tall dry weeds, out of wack traffic signals and auto accidents, furniture out on the parkway that no one calls for pick up on but me, and people burying their dead dogs beneath trees in the park. 

When I got there, to my surprise, his assistant assigned to my area was there in person.  I realized that I'm a bit of a CITIZEN ACTIVIST, that I do care about my community, and that maybe some of my efforts will change things for the better, if just a bit.

So if you ask me if this HUNGARIAN -AMERICAN NEVER GIVES UP, well I'd say yes. 

Now,  finally, about those stuffed cabbages...

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