BALATONUDVARI HEART SHAPED TOMBSTONES and ARTIST ILONA KERERU

Yes, believe it or not, there is a graveyard in the village of Balatonudvari (near Lake Balaton) where the tombstones are all "heart shaped."  (Some say shaped like an apple, but perhaps the point of the heart is in the ground?)  See the good photographs.

MEDIUM : HEART SHAPED TOMBSTONES of BALATONUDVARI by Alexandra Palconi 

Excerpt: "THE DEAD HEART TURNS INTO STONE, TOO.  FIRST IT BECOMES DUST< THEN IT TURNS INTO STONE."

Of course, there is also a local legend about these monuments; apparently, a local handyman convinced the villagers of Balatonudvari to order heart- shaped tombstones because "the dead hearts turn into stone, too.  First it becomes dust, then it turns into stone."  There are rumors that the last of the heart-shaped tombstones stands at the handyman's grave.  The creepy thing is, according to the same legend, he even engraved his own tombstone.

STEVEN FRIENDMAN GALLERY : ART BY ILONA KESEWRU INSPIRED BY THE HEART SHAPED TOMBSTONES

WAYS TO FIGURE DEATH OF AN ANCESTOR IF THE RECORDS ARE MISSING OR INCOMPLETE : HUNGARIAN CEMETERIES , READING DEATH RECORDS, GENEALOGY RESEARCH IN HUNGARY #5

Those of you who have been into genealogy for some time may already know this. Those of you who are early in your research may not realize; Warning! - This is a lot of work - a lot of time will be required.  I suppose it's about how motivated you are to go back further, another generation.

Because I'm an "extreme genealogist" I frankly enjoy the challenge.

1) Do your family group sheets. Often you find the birth/ baptisms of children is what reveals a married couple.

2) On some birth records, you may notice a cross mark which indicates death and a date listed. If the date is not listed and it's a baby, then the baby probably was still born or died soon after birth.

3) Notice the pattern of children born and the age of the parents. Is there a point where a reasonably fertile youthful couple stop having children?  You might make a timeline in which you figure the age of the mother at each childbirth.  

4) Notice if a given name has been used in that family before. That indicates that the child in the family first given that name has died, and so the name is being used again.  (This ties into a religious belief that God is giving a replacement child and blessing the couple. So many babies and children died without becoming adults before vaccinations, I often truly wonder how people could emotionally handle so much death.  Since it was happening all around them, though, they had the experience of "this is how life is.")

5) The remarriage of a man or woman almost always indicates the death of a spouse in those days before divorce, so the records may state that they had a previous marriage, that they are a widow or widower, and might mention the woman's previous married surname. (Don't be shocked if the remarriage comes soon after the death.  People were pragmatic and work was gender-based. Pressure was on to remarry.) Until you find a definite date, you would note "death previous" to the marriage date on your research.

5) Informal adoption : Notes may also indicate that a child's parent died. Sometimes you will notice on a marriage record that a mention has been made of a former parent's surname. Because adoption for common children was so informal, it could be that they went to live with relatives, or they may have started working to support themselves very young... This may be revealed also by doing a "house number"/ farmstead study, seeing who is living at the address and when.

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THE FIVE MOST BEAUTIFUL CEMETERIES IN BUDAPEST ! EXCELLENT ARTICLE FROM WE LOVE BUDAPEST

WE LOVE BUDAPEST : FIVE MOST BEAUTIFUL CEMETERIES 

Excerpts:

Farkasréti from 1894

Violets, fresh air and tranquillity surround the names of the famous Hungarians on these gravestones. It may sound morbid, but beautiful Farkasréti Cemetery, in a lovely natural setting, is a fine place for an autumn walk. This is the largest of its kind in Buda and the last resting place of composers Béla Bartók and Zoltán Kodály, as well as many revered actors and not so revered politicians.  ...

Kerepesi from 1847

Kerepsi Cemetery houses the graves and magnificent mausoleums of the most notable Hungarians.  Many are true works of art adorned with ornate sculptures, frescos, and mosaics... The most grandiose funeral of the Dual Monarchy was that of the most emblematic figure of the Revolution, Lajoz Kossuth, governor of the Kingdom of Hungary during the fight for freedom.  After 1849, Kossuth emigrated and lived the rest of his life abroad.  His ashes were brought to Budapest and buried at Kerepesi.  His strikingly adorned mausoleum is still the grandest piece of funereal architecture in Hungary. 

Kozma utca  from 1893

The Jewish Cemetery on Kozma utca opened alongside Új köztemető (New Public Cemetery) in 1893. It is currently the largest Jewish cemetery in Hungary, the last resting place for around 300,000 people. It also holds priceless architectural treasures, unfortunately some in extremely poor condition. ... Families of the Jewish elite are buried in ornate mausoleums near the cemetery walls, such as the Schmidl mausoleum decorated with Zsolnay ceramics, and the Gries mausoleum, with mosaics by the equally renowned Miksa Roth.

Salgótarjáni utca from 1874

Opened in 1874, this cemetery alongside Kerepesi provides a comprehensive picture of Jewish emancipation in Hungary and the social and artistic life of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Prominent figures here include influential entrepreneur Manfréd Weiss, Unicum pioneer József Zwack and Moritz Wahrmann, a leading figure in the development of Budapest in the 1800s. Among the designers of the tombs are the greatest architects of the day.

MORE DETAILS AT THE LINK!

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ALL SOULS DAY IN HUNGARY - ALL SAINTS DAY IN HUNGARY

Perhaps if it is allowed at the cemetery your ancestors are in here in the United States you might want to go and light a candle.  RED VOTIVE CANDLES and YELLOW CHRYSANTHEMUMS are key, but white candles will do, as will the favorite flowers of your loved ones. 

GETTING UP TO SPEED FOR THE NEW YEAR

This past holiday season was a bit unusual for me because I joined up with a relatives huge family celebration that included new traditions they had adopted over the years and since I'd last seen them all.  This included a birthday cake for Jesus that included candles, the children singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus, and one of them blowing the candles out: of course this included the trick candles that refuse to blow out the first and second try.

(Seems no one is ever concerned about breath on cake tops being germ-filled!)

My memory of this family was that everyone watched the Pope say Mass from Rome on a cable station and then opened presents.  My memory was also of there being turkey, ham, and lasagna, plus many platters and tins full of desert cookies and cakes.  Well, there was no watching the Pope say Mass and they had gotten into healthier and more minimalistic holiday eating, but one of the daughters spends an afternoon making several of grandma's cookie recipes so was carrying on some of the tradition.

About a week before the holiday we went to the cemetery to decorate the graves for Christmas, totally new to me.  The Italian branch of the family had also put photos of the person in the grave on the gravestones.  The extreme expensive of burial these days has me quite concerned.  I don't think I will be.  I'm feeling pretty sure I'll be cremated and there is a spot on earth where I would like a simple cardboard box of ashes to be buried.  When we got to this cemetery though I was surprised to see so many families out decorating the burials, and when I saw the burial for a child that included an entire decorated fake Christmas tree I felt some tears come to my eyes.

Soon after this visit I and everyone else got sick - be it allergies, sinus, the flu, a virus, an infection, we were all coughing, hacking, exhausted, and sleeping too much or up all night.

So I'm still trying to step on the gas and get up to full speed for the New Year - 2018!

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ALL SOULS DAY IS a H U G E HOLIDAY OF ANCESTOR WORSHIP IN HUNGARY

I do my ancestor worship through genealogy and history research.  It is through this research that I have learned so much about people I never knew or even heard about because my Hungarian-heritage parent had not either. 

At one point in my research I got the impression that a spirit was watching over my shoulder as I constructed family charts. It was very quiet and there was a .. presence. 

I also had a dream during a period of intense research of someone - the hands were ghostly mist - coming to me and showing me who they were; if I ever see a photograph of the woman that those ghostly hands held I will know.

DUMNEAZU's blog here is fascinating (with wonderful pictures!) and you can link to it and find out that there is NO HALLOWEEN IN HUNGARY but ALL SOULS DAY is H U G E !