USING BAPTISMAL RECORDS, build the family, looking for siblings with the same parents.\hough this information is more likely on a death or marriage record, on the baptismal records also look for words such as "Widow" or "Widower" in the notes.
What the priest is communicating when noting the death of a parent is that the child was conceived in marriage but the father has died before it was born or the mother died in childbirth or soon after. Sometimes you'll see a little cross icon somewhere on the same line where a priest has written in that the child died or that the mother died. (You still want to cross reference that with a DEATH record.)
Notes on BAPTISMALS can include TWINS, ILLEGITIMACY, FATHER is DEAD, MOTHER HAS DIED, child was baptized by MIDWIFE or someone else, or child has died. I've seen "premature" written in. In the case of a child who was born dead or died right after birth, there was no waiting for a priest for baptism. I've also seen notes such as "Father in America."
(In one case I found that a pregnant widow was being married by my ancestor, but I have yet to find her first husband's name or if she had other children with him since marriage and death record images are not available for the town she apparently lived in before this next marriage. I descend from the second child of this couple, not the first child she was pregnant with. Without marriage records it is impossible to proof and unproofed genealogy is sloppy.)
Speaking of, these BAPTISMAL records are listed on databases with the BAPTISMAL DATE, as if to emphasize the title of the collection, or to assure us that they are Christians, but it's the DATE OF BIRTH THAT WE REALLY NEED. Even though in most cases there is a baptism recorded within a day or two or three after birth, various delays can occur that can make it difficult for you to verify you are following the same person from their birth in Hungary or Slovakia to the United States. For instance, a date of birth for Industrial Revolution immigrant men can appear on records such as United States Military World War I draft registrations. So record the DATE OF BIRTH, though the DATABASE is bringing up DATE OF BAPTISM! For one location it seems a one month wait was typical and the indexer has listed both the date of birth and the date of baptism! Thank You!)
(Some state census taken in the United States ask the MONTH and YEAR of birth, however "May" could be the last day of the month, and so while scanning you'd find this person in "June" baptismal records since they were baptized that month.)
You may find that at the same church, town, or general area, that there are many people with the same surnames, the same given and surnames; extremely common names. (For one town, only by talking to a living descendant was I able to verify that two large families with the same surname were NOT related and lived on different sides of town.)
By RECREATING SEVERAL FAMILIES with the same parents names WHO ARE HAVING CHILDREN with BIRTH DATES occurring contemporaneously, you may figure that these particular families are not the SAME. (If the surname is extremely common take extra caution. Even an unusual name doesn't mean they are related because they go to the same church.) So if you see Janos Szabo and Julianna Arvay are having babies every couple months, or two births the same year (though it is possible for a woman to have more than one pregnancy in a year), it's time to question. One or more of the families will be eliminated as not yours.
Additionally, sometimes only the mother's name is on the indexing because the child has no father. More on this another post. Quite possibly the woman has a child without a husband and then marries him or another man.
You may also get closer to the date of marriage of the couple by recreating family. As an example, let's say your ancestor was born in 1804, but using this strategy you find siblings born in 1806, 1802, 1808, and 1800. If you recreate a family and find that their oldest child (for that church, town, couple) was born in 1800, you can possibly also figure they were married about 1799. That is, if they are a typical young couple in a first marriage.
My experience is that a first marriage in the 19th century and before was typically to a young man about 20 -21 and a young woman between 16 and 21, but usually a couple years younger than her groom. My experience is that when the people are noble and do not need to work for income, do not have to become apprentices or learn a craft first, they marry EARLIER.
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