LEGAL IMMIGRATION is the only way to go. I know that some of you reading my blog are thinking of coming to the United States and things are a bit "wonky" right now. Whatever your situation, do it the right way. DO IT LEGAL. Even if you have to wait. Use your wait time to earn more money to bring with you, to study language, to research what life is like in various parts of the country; Some cities are considerably less expensive than others.
I post this having just learned that a woman who came here in the late 1980s from Germany, college educated too, is STILL NOT LEGAL.
Let me tell you the story.
I had a friend from a rich family. In spending time with her and her family, I learned that her older brother, who I will call Noah, had taken a year off from his college, as many rich kids do, to travel around Europe. Her family had been in the USA for several generations so he was not looking to meet relatives left behind. However, he was very interested in what had happened to the Jews because they were Jewish but not at all religious. When he was in Germany and on a train he met a young woman - not Jewish.
We don't know if they actually had an affair or fell in love or what happened on the train or after they got off the train or how much time they actually spent together or if she traveled with him as a tour guide or what. Surely she knew he was an American and from Los Angeles and she might have suspected he came from money.
The brother came back to the US just in time to go back to his college for fall semester. He was living with his parents in a suburb where houses even back then were being sold for a million dollars or more. My friend and other siblings all had trust funds for college someday. But they were not showy or snobby people.
One day his stay at home mother answered a knock on the door. There stood this young German woman asking for Noah. He wasn't home. He wasn't expecting her. The mother, being a polite woman, allowed the young German woman in, told her to wait in their living room, brought out some food and drink. They waited. The German woman explained to the mother, rather innocently, that she had come to be with Noah! The mother was shocked but tried to hide her emotion. What she didn't know about her son! (And while they were not religious and not automatically against one of their children marrying someone who wasn't Jewish, they simply preferred they do.)
Eventually Noah came home late at night, and there sat this German woman. By now it was clear that she had not made hotel reservations. So the family accepted that she would stay in the spare room. Noah was twice as shocked as his mother.
The German woman had come to the United States, following her heart, but on a tourist Visa. Noah was earnest about his education. He didn't want to live with a girlfriend. The family didn't want to go against their son by having her in their home more than a couple weeks. Of course, the German woman decided there was only one thing to do, find a cash-paying job as a nanny in someone else's house where she would live, over stay her tourist Visa, anything to be near Noah. A college educated bilingual nanny can easily get such a job.
Noah began to resent her. The family did feel sorry for her. They could not believe that Noah hadn't encouraged her. He maintained he did not.
A couple years later, Noah had finished college and went to another state to begin a career. He accepted the German woman to live with him, again working as a nanny for cash. Their living together didn't go well. He was sure he didn't want to marry her, even if she was loving, kind, and hard working. Soon the German woman was back to Los Angeles without him. Truthfully, and maybe this is hard for some of you to understand, the family felt that their son owed it to this girl to marry her, and that if he did not, then he had brought trouble and shame to them. He refused.
I had heard that she had saved every dime she could and had hired an immigration attorney to make it all right for her. She was in what we call, "deep shit, excuse the French." She gave this attorney thousands of dollars in cash. HE KEPT IT AND DID NOTHING FOR HER. Though the family was rich, when they ran this past their attorney, he advised that this was not unusual. And that there was nothing he could do that wouldn't mean jail time, fines, deportation for the German woman.
So this woman, college educated too, in love or hoping for marriage, following her heart without an invitation, is STILL working for cash as a nanny, still illegal. As I hear it Noah is almost banished by his family and the father has been half supporting her, but still, the day is going to come when this man dies. The siblings don't hate the German girl, but they feel she cannot be in their lives.
I also tell this story because of the incorrect notion that almost all illegal immigrants to the U.S. particularly the South West are from Mexico. Here in Los Angeles there are many illegal Irish (often working in bars and restaurants) and other Europeans. They may be better hidden among the non-Hispanic population.
Meanwhile, I assure you that legal immigration has been the way to citizenship for many of my neighbors. A British woman here to act in the film business has a sister in social services, disabled in Great Britain. She has been awarded duel citizenship so she can freely take care of her sister's situation there as needed. Moslem refugees from Pakistan - on their way to citizenship. A neighbor from Bosnia - a refugee years ago - a citizen - he wasted no time. Business owners who have brought an educated, multilingual cousin from Argentina - in process.
If you wish to immigrate, go to the closest consulate and ask for information on the right way to do it. It may not be fast or easy but ultimately it is the right way. And I feel that if I were ever to visit or wish to stay in Hungary for any amount of time I would do the same, honoring the rules and regulations in place in Hungary. There are Americans who consider moving to Hungary for their retirement. The refugee crisis in Hungary (and other countries) is of great concern to them when they imagine living as senior citizens in another country. Don't overstay a tourist Visa, expect that a romance or affair or fling that you have is going to result in marriage and a legal stay...
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