Since I'm descended from Hungarians who did leave Hungary in the 19th Century, how can I advise anyone to STAY in Hungary when they may rightly perceive that life in another country could be better for them?
I will try.
Just the other day I overheard two young people from Czechoslovakia talking in Czech on a park bench. A couple months ago I met young people here from the Ukraine. They all look so healthy and blond, but I dare not ask them HOW THEY CAN AFFORD THE RENT! It's been a while since I met young recent Hungarian immigrants. But in each case, I first ask them "Are you here as a tourist or are you here to stay?" Often they laugh or say they don't know and I suspect they came as tourists and are now trying to figure things out.
THAT IS THE WRONG THING TO DO! A lot can go wrong, so at least PLAN AHEAD!
The world is an extremely different place than it was prior to the World Wars, and air travel and electronic communications mean that IF YOU LEAVE HUNGARY you may not be cut off from those who remain behind as my ancestors were. That's a positive. And it may be that visiting friends and family left behind will be as easy as affording a ticket.
Though many Hungarian men came to the United States as seasonal industrial workers and returned to Hungary to do seasonal agricultural work for the family farms before making a DECISION to become American Citizens over a hundred years ago, the process was blocked for years because of the difficult politics of the World War I era. Hungarians were one of the ethnic groups who had to wait if their process wasn't complete because they were considered foreigners who might be spies. Some of them waited into the 1920's.
BEFORE YOU CONSIDER LEAVING HUNGARY do extreme research on the rules for entry of the other country you hope to live in, the rules for staying, and what you may be expected to do once you get there, including how much money you should have with you since you may not legally earn any for some time. As for the United States, life can be very different depending on the region, state, city, or local that you go to.
Consider that Hungary is providing incentives for youth to stay in the country of their birth.
HERE IS MY ADVICE FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO MAY COME TO THE UNITED STATES - MAYBE EVEN MY STATE OF CALIFORNIA!
These days there seems to be far more opportunity to learn the most useful second language in Europe and that is English. BE SURE TO HAVE EXCELLENT LANGUAGE SKILLS before you leave and once you are in your country and city of choice, take more lessons from a local to have a good accent. There are very few Hungarian speakers in California. You may have to head to the local HUNGARIAN-AMERICAN CLUB to find any!
Although accented English can be charming if a person has a large vocabulary, a heavy accent can still be a barrier for employment unless you are very well educated - say in the sciences - or you have a relative that owns a restaurant.
I've met people who did jobs well beneath their education, like working at a car wash, in order to be employed and earning money at something who did progress after they were speaking well. (Working at the car wash where I live has become the cash job for Mexicans but not so long ago you could find Israelis doing it. There's no shame in a days work honestly done.)
CASH JOBS? It happens all the time in the big cities, and though it's not true that no Americans want these jobs, and it is true that there can be an INS raid and you can find yourself in deep trouble, what is true is that Americans hire recent immigrants for cash because THEY WANT TO PAY LESS THAN THEY WOULD PAY AN AMERICAN. It may be that you'll find work as a live-in nanny or maid or gardener. More likely they will expect you to commute to their home and live elsewhere, even in with a half dozen other people in small apartments.
CLOTHING: You can wear sports shoes or casual shoes for everywhere but... Though you may find casual clothing OK for the job you get, for interviewing it's still best to dress like you're going to be the next CEO, suit and tie, serious shoes. Tattoos? If your body art can be seen you'll probably be thought of as an artist, musician, or part of a subculture.
SOCIAL LIFE? MARRYING AN AMERICAN? Read everything you can about cultural differences, especially if you are unmarried and are interested in meeting and maybe marrying someone from your chosen country. Perhaps more than business, this is the area of social life that is most perplexing. It is perplexing for those of us who already live here and is still sometimes called "the battle of the sexes."
What do women want?
What do men want?
I would think they want someone to be respectful and loving to them.
BIG CITY YOUTH are EXPERIENCED SEXUALLY and may not think of having a fling with a recent immigrant as anything but sex, not love, and not a relationship. So if you are in the mood for a fling with an American ALWAYS USE CONTRACEPTION and PROTECTION. There is a herpes epidemic and HIV/AIDS is still a threat.
Women should know that American men will likely think of you (or anyone from a previously Communist country of Europe) to be "exotic" or expect you to be sexier or more feminine (i.e. more willing to do everything his way) than an American born and raised women. You may not by nature be this way but will have to speak up for yourself to be known. It's up to you to protect yourself from predatory men. They are out there and some of them hate innocence. The best way to do this is to go out on the town to meet people with a like-minded girlfriend and stay sober and alert.
Men... American women are looking for responsible men who they can count on!
Try to make friends before you try to have a lover, but whatever you do, error on the conservative side. Find yourself out on the town with a wild bunch? Be careful. You can get into troubles that they can't because you are not yet a citizen.
SMOKING AND DRINKING? You may have to change. No doubt people still smoke and drink for the companies that sell cigarettes and various alcoholic drinks make a fortune. Still, there is a huge trend towards healthy living that means that many people no longer imbibe, and it isn't even especially religious but more of a holistic and spiritual way of living and seeing life, including the conservation of Mother Earth. There are SMOKING BANS in many cities. You may not smoke on the street or in a restaurant when there is a smoking ban and can even get fined.
COST OF LIVING... HIGH! (Are you wealthy?)
An average one bedroom rental is over $1000 a month in Los Angeles, and you may have to have excellent credit and references to get it. Aim for a two bedroom for $1200 to $1400, a compatible room mate, and an income of at least twice that, three times that is better.
Standard grocery stores are bringing in more and more organic but expensive produce and other items for sale that one used to have to go to a specialty "health food" store to buy. On a budget it may be impossible to eat the highest quality produce. Millions of Americans can barely afford to eat at all and use a government benefit to buy groceries. The least expensive produce is often not surplus but ready to expire.
MEAT EATER? Most people have cut down on how much meat they eat, especially meat like pork and beef, preferring chicken, turkey, and fish. Partly this is because meat is becoming unaffordable, with prices going higher and higher because of the drought, partly it is the trend towards vegetarianism or Mediterranean diets. When you see a fat American, that person is usually fat from sweets, breads, beer - carbohydrates - than overeating good foods! There is a big emphasis on eating enough vegetables and eating twice as much vegetable than the meat on the plate.
Hungarians eating American hot dogs and versions of sausages may be disappointed and consider them bland and over-processed or drowning in condiments.
There are peppers here, the hot ones mostly in Mexican markets, but there is little zeal for cabbage. People are eating broccoli and cauliflower more than ever. For groceries consider that the ARMENIAN OWNED stores do import some Hungarian meats and cheeses as well as the biggest cabbages for the stuffing.
PEOPLE CARRY BOTTLED WATER WITH THEM EVERYWHERE.
COFFEE and COFFEE HOUSES! They're everywhere, and there are still people talking to each other in them, even though long rows of people are more attached to their lap tops and cell phones. Search out the local, privately owned coffee houses and smaller chef or family owned restaurants. As for the coffee itself, there are so very many varieties imported that you can have your choice, but expect to pay about $2.00 on the average for coffee in a paper throw away cup, often more, and it will not be especially thick or dark. Many people avoid any caffeine except for an early morning wake up cup.
CELL PHONES? Opt for a PREPAID phone from Metro-PCS. There are many small companies. This one has unlimited everything for $40 a month and some fairly inexpensive phones.
CHURCH? Fewer young Americans are declaring themselves to be affiliated with a church or religious. Still church can be a good place to start socially so you may want to visit various congregations and see what you think. Be aware that there are still cults thriving in the United States, that they didn't all end with the 1960's, and some of them are "Christian," so if you want to worship rather than become entrapped, stick with the big well known denominations and avoid store fronts, street preachers, and cute girls with flyers inviting you places when you land at the airport.
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