Seizure
I worked for many hours and well deserved my rest after a long Thursday. On Friday I got up and made a pot of soup - beef barley and tomato with lots of garlic - to last for a few days. Then I took my dog in her carrier to my volunteer gig, the food bank. When I take her we usually go for a walk after. Just the other day I took her for a couple hours out shopping with me and then we went to a grassy park where she happily sniffed the trees and got excited at the sight of a squirrel.
There's a changes from week to week when it comes to the number of volunteers. Last week the food showed up incredibly late and it was a lot of chaos. Everyone had to stay more hours. Some of the people who are coming for free food are acting demanding about what is in their bag and using their bare hands to give back or sort out what they do not want... We can't have that. However, there is often a language barrier and when I say NO! and point to my gloves some of them still don't get it. Maybe it was the delay with the food delivery that set us back and into this situation that was a bit out of control. This is also because of the layout of the building and parking. We can do the receiving, sorting through (some of what is donated is ready for composting), and bagging indoors but we need to take it out near the street when done. People are both on foot and in cars.
I had been tying my dog up on a shaded patio with water and a sleeping pad near the bagging room but she seemed to worry too much about where I was and would sharp bark at some people. So I was told it would be OK to bring her into the bagging room where I tied her up in the corner. We all wear face masks and gloves and there is a lot of activity, people darting around, and talking. She seemed agitated and still straining to keep track of me. Then on the way home it was a bit of bumpy ride though she seemed to be asleep in her carrier. The carrier is room enough and has lots of air vents and I don't think she was overheated. Once home I gave her a treat of beef. This may have been my mistake. I detail this because later I learned that a seizure can be triggered by anything from accidently eating poison, being fed chocolate, a change in dog food, too much salt, too much sugar, too much excitement, bright flashing lights, or an assortment of serious internal illnesses.
At home she got into the dog bed I keep for her on my bed. She also has another under the bed. I got on the computer, but about an hour into this, I heard something and turned around to see her in seizure. Urine shot out of her. Her whole body shook violently. She was foaming at the mouth. Her breathing was bad. A spot of blood came out of her mouth. All this especially scared me. I grabbed her in my arms and carried her outside. I guess I was thinking she might also poo. I was shocked and frightened.
Something about earthquakes. The small ones are barely felt. It can feel like a heavy loaded truck is rumbling by, shaking the street just a little too long. Or maybe some overhead lamps sway. A big one, however is so dramatic that the floors seem to be rising up and down just to throw you out of bed or bruise you as you crawl to a safe space. The noise is tremendous like a freight train that won't stop passing, your possessions are thrown and twisted, cracks appear in your walls, and within it time slows down.
With this seizure my poor old dog had, time showed down for me as the observer. I have no idea how long it went on. It was probably less than five minutes - maybe one or three, but it felt like forever. I held her, I kept stroking her. I kept saying, I love you, I'm here. And in my mind I thought, She is in the act of dying.
I was amazed at my acceptance of this notion in that moment. It was as if I was thinking, "This dog will be waiting for me in heaven, when I get there." Knowing she is old and cannot live forever. But what about my double yolked luck? Am I really ready to be dogless?
Then it was over. When I set her down it appeared her back legs were weak or useless. The legs seemed to hang limp. Her front paws were a little better. Her tongue was hanging out of her mouth to one side. I thought, "She has had a stroke!"
It was now Friday dinner time and I knew the closest vet was closed. There are other vets in the area but also nightmare stories of them overcharging and so on. In the next town there is a vet I have never been to but who a dog lover recommended.
I brought her back into the bedroom and set her down, wobbly, into her bed. This was a mistake. I left the room for a few moments and she had tried to get up and walk and had fallen off the bed. I took her back outside.
It was a bright and beautiful spring day, very windy, with flower blooms on some of the trees. I set her down on grass and she tried to walk.
The curious thing. She was going for it but she was walking in circles and getting "stuck" say, under a hedge. It seemed like she wanted to go under a hedge and hide. However, she started bumping into things and I realized she was blind. My dog has a cataract in one eye that's fairy bad and in the other eye that's fairly good. I thought, "OK, I'm going to have to put her down. I wondered if she would be able to drink or eat with that tongue hanging out. I can deal with her blind. I can deal with her if I have to carry her out. I can deal with her if she can never leave the house again. But if she cannot eat or drink or urinate or poo, she has a day,
I tied her up with a long soft leash indoors, so that she could not bump into things. She went under the bed. Then I heard her walking back and forth under there. So I got her out and took her back outside, where she still seemed disoriented.
Then I got on Google and researched. I learned that walking in circles, hiding, whimpering, and other behaviors were all dog seizure after effects. Would she come out of it? Minutes or a day or two is what one site said.
Although it said that dogs who have seizures are sometimes really thirsty or hungry afterwards, I cleaned her up a little, and took her near a water bowl where I lifted some water towards her mouth with my fingers and she licked. Her tongue went back into her mouth. However she didn't pause to drink from her bowl. Did she know where she was? I knew when she last had a little water and urinated and pooed, so I decided not to feed her.
I took her back out and her walking got stronger but she didn't seem to know how to navigate the steps, which she usually does with a bit of a hop.
That she was walking, reprogramming herself, was to me a miracle and a good sign.
The next was that she kept sniffing my leg and seemed to be trying to follow me without circling, using her sense of smell. I thought, if this is it, I will always be sure to put some of my new perfume on my ankles as a clue for her.
The next excellent sign is that a cat she is jealous of for the attention I give it walked by her and she barked sharply at it. She barked!
Walking well, hating the cat, I watched as she found and made it through the doggie door into the side yard, went down the steps, and then roamed a bit. But did she find the way back in? Eventually. "I will have to go outside with her in the dark in the middle of the night from now on. I don't want her tangling with a racoon out there!"
Finally, I stayed up until midnight in case anything else happened. Calls had been made to the closest vet and no one had called back. Then I barely slept. I'm going through today with maybe five hours of terrible sleep.
It is Saturday and so far my dog has gone out to pee, drunk some water, and eaten a small portion of wet food as well as small bite kibble. She is sleeping in her bed on my bed contently. She seems to be more keenly watching me but it's as if she didn't have the seizure. Her eyesight is back, as it was. If she makes a good poo then I will feel she is recovered.
Of course I know another seizure could happen at any time, even when we are out somewhere together.
She is still interested in experiencing life.
I have to think about all this.
All I can do is try to avoid triggers and hope that this was an isolated incident.
And that is all for now!
How I love her!
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