I have it on good authority. FLIRTING is simply not the same for a Hungarian as it is for a Hungarian-American. OK, I realize there are individual differences, but basically flirting as Americans know it doesn't exist in Hungary.
Consider these typical flirty things that Americans are known to do:
PAYING COMPLIMENTS - in particular about appearance.
GIVING GIFTS - especially gifts such as jewelry, bouquets of flowers - things that can cost money.
SAYING THINGS THAT ARE THOUGHT OF AS WITTY but not suggestive and never actual sexual harassment.
As it has been explained to me, the average Hungarian does not like gifts that are too costly or fussy in courtship. Something should be useful, sensible, and not a "waste of money." This ties into the fact that most people are on a budget, so it's respectful not to expect someone to go over their budget, or sacrifice, to impress you. (So perhaps a live plant with roots or a package of seeds instead of a bouquet?)
Then, as for paying compliments, such as telling someone they look beautiful or handsome, well, Hungarians don't compliment each other much, so the most sincere a compliment may seem to be some outrageous attempt to manipulate. Besides there is a bit of an expectation that if you want to impress someone when you are attracted to them, you will care for your grooming and dress as nicely as you can. (And let's face it that some Americans can be both clean and slovenly, such as wearing clothing that doesn't fit, or shows too much wear, especially broken down sports shoes.)
As for saying things that are thought of by Americans as witty, well Hungarians will note the irony in situations and they are also capable of telling stories on themselves. But Americans joking with another person as a way of showing interest or affection might mystify a Hungarian who could be sensitive tor what seems to them to be ridicule.
Sadly, I think flirting is a lost art, but gladly, in my case since I'm a Hungarian-American, once in a while I enjoy flirting and being flirted with. Everyone likes to feel noticed and special, talented or especially skilled, and all good flirts include sincere and believable compliments. So it might be wiser to appreciate something about a Hungarian's accomplishments than their appearance.
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